And now it's been four years since I last published anything on here. I was drawn to writing again because I was telling a much younger colleague (who is having some career dilemmas) about this blog and how writing it helped me articulate my frustrations and feelings. I also mentioned how much I benefited from the collective wisdom of those who have visited this site and commented or reached out in another way over the years.
Well a lot has changed since this blog started. I'm still a doctor - of sorts. I haven't practiced clinically for coming up to two years now.
I have found paths and directions that fit me better. I did manage to finish up all of my postgraduate training (in a hospital based area of medicine) whilst also pursuing my other healthcare interests.
How did I do it? Well the world is short of doctors and I managed to 'sell' to my employers that they could employ me less-than-full time. That way I was able to do some 'other bits and pieces.' There is no rule-book for this stuff and the mentoring is non-existent. I would have loved some advice along the way. It's good I had this blog 😉 (emojis didn't exist in 2005! isn't that crazy?)
I have also managed to spend a considerable amount of time abroad working in a totally different healthcare system. The grass is never greener; but having some time to walk on different lawns is definitely good for the soul.
And wow I'm approaching middle age now! I have kids! I still don't know quite what I want to 'do' with my life or career. But every step has been an adventure and I'm glad I had the courage to take those steps. When I talk to people about my career and experiences I do laugh inside - I'm able to tell the story like every step was planned and it comes across that way. How little they know!
As always I would say don't give up on yourself. I still have those dark times, those times when I feel I have nothing going for me, the times where the imposter syndrome is absolutely crippling. I suspect many of you do too. You will get through it.
I still read every comment that is posted on this blog (including the spam!) and although I don't reply any more I'm walking there right beside you. Stay strong and look after yourselves.
