Saturday, August 19, 2006

miserable sullen bastards

regular readers of MOADD (all 4 of them) will probably have realised that the lost doctor is not always the happiest of bunnies with stethoscopes (possible playboy shoot).

this is generally due to the fact that the NHS is actively and passively raping him day in day out. it would not be a huge generalisation to suggest that this motif of melancholy courses through most of the UK doctors' blogs listed to the side (except the venial sinner perhaps as he is too often loaded or in lurve.)

the current few weeks have been particularly trying. you may well remember that august and february are seminal in the NHSian calendar because these are the times when the new blood hit the wards. the recent intake of new doctors are fucking me off.

firstly they don't do a great deal. secondly i don't think they CAN do a great deal - this is likely to be due the dumbing down of training. thirdly, 1 and 2 could be overlooked if these guys were a bit of a laugh but FUCK ME they are DULLARDS.

admittedly my two juniors are very good and fun to work with it's just that i find myself wondering around the wards keeping myself to myself in case i am trapped in a ritual seppuku inducing conversation with anyone else.

things haven't been helped by the fact that my job has changed and i have leapfrogged in on call rota back to two months ago when i was doing shitloads of nights. i feel i am being taken for the proverbial ride when it comes to night shifts.

this aggression shall not stand.

in the interim, the FISH continue to multiply. next to the fish false idol posters over the wards have appeared small whiteboards with the "attitude of the day" written on them. these are such vacuous mindsets as "fun" or "thoughtful" or "happy" for example. the management haven't thought about asking me to suggest the attitude for the day yet probably because they understand that "fuck your mother" is not the best way to engender a culture of teamworking.


[i am listening to The Concretes]

10 comments:

Kate said...

A "fish only zone"?!?!?! WTF is that?!?!

Anonymous said...

I'm sure the Fish thing is brilliant in an office - but it sounds totally wanky in a hospital. If they try it with me in our hospital I may end up getting sacked.

The Screamer said...

"fuck your mother" is not the best way to engender a culture of teamworking."

Mmmmmm.... don't suppose my idea of displaying my recent ebay purchase of the Mattel Nurse Quacktioner would encourage better staff relations than your fish prose but i'm willing to trial it and publish the results if you will ;)

Anonymous said...

D&C another excellent post that made me laugh ...

You should stick one of those Nurse Quacktitioner dolls in the fish only zone...

The Venial Sinner said...

Maybe the Fish don't actually exist...maybe they are just a frabrication of your tortured mind...maybe we all are.

As for the new HOs, I think you're just jealous because you don't work on the Simpsons team with Ned Flanders as your registrar and Ralph as your HO like I do.

Bring on the nights!

Vegas said...

The new HOs are wicked. You can go on about the "good old days" and how crap their current training is and they agree with you! Then they do all the crap jobs (blood tests, paperwork, etc) whilst I sit back and make executive decisions and play lots of pool in the mess. Rock on MMC!

Name withheld to protect the guilty said...

I'm about to blog on this, but I thought I'd give you a more personal heads-up: something called, and I shit you not, "Lego Serious Play," which essentially sounds like a FISHy scheme with colorful bricks.

A bit more fun, perhaps, but just as ridiculous....

howling said...

the fish thing - if i can remember it right was used by my freak kindergarten teacher to explian the food chain to us kids i.e. small fish get eaten by medium fish who then eventually get swallowed by the big fish then the big hairy monkey who in turn it's brains ended up as a stir fry meal in some dirty peasant's plate. yeah. but what a waste to use to illustrate teamworking whatever that is crap! you should be working in our hospital.

freddie adere said...

as always love the site. makes me laugh and groan in equal measure.

hey has anyone seen angrynhsdoctor.blogspot.com. .

could you collaborate with him on some blog suff - or get a link from your site to his so other people can read his rants!?

AS always love your site
dan

Katsbud said...

Someone should steal all of the fish and leave a message saying that have been taken to the nearest chippy...

x