it's night 3 of 7 and it's going OK so far. well i've managed to get time to put this post up so it can't be too bad.
there have been lots of emergency admissions from casualty so although i've been kept busy it's been a good busy. busy looking after people as opposed to paperwork busy. again there have been some quite difficult cases, one in particular involving a 20-something guy who has really been through the wars with lots of hospital admissions. too many things to go into but suffice to say some people really do get dealt a harsh hand in this crappy life.
i'm pretty tired surprisingly as i don't usually start flaking out till night 6 or 7. i think i tried to go into this set of nights a bit more positive than normal so maybe it's that (emotional energy expenditure or something). i'm also trying to keep myself going with a technique that one of my friends suggested (Vegas who runs the Nip/Fuct blog.) he suggests psychologically splitting the week into 4 nights and 3 nights. so i've only REALLY got one more night left. hooray.
to end with i just wanted to say that i apologise if this blog is a bit too negative and "dark" (which is scarily the adjective several people have used to describe it) - it's not really meant to be. i just put down a stream of consciousness when i start typing. yes there's a lot of frustration but honestly i am still quite cheery in real life! a lot of people who haven't seen me since i started MOADD (have you caught on to my insistence of using that acronym?) are quite surprised when they actually speak to me and find me the same as i've always been. not the jaded, scowling, anaemic cynic they expect.
i would also hate anyone to think that i go to my patients and say:
"how are you today sir? not so good? well you should see the shit i've been doing and how crap this day has been. so yeah why don't you take these antibiotics and get yourself and your pneumonia out of my fucking face."
not all of them anyway. only the ones that have hurt people.
so, for the record, i am not severely depressed. (that can change, however, as i have just seen the football scores.)
and just to prove i am not entering a dark dark place, here is a story from the onion about a big doggy to warm you to the cockles of your hearts and maybe to below your cockles, to the sub-cockular area. (points if you post the song title and singer in comments)
[i am listening to Robbie Williams because i can't get another station on the radio in the office]